So today, we salute Cynthia Nixon- a Cynthia Nixon virtual parade, if you will. Didn’t see that coming did you? Yeah, there’s that Sex and the City movie that everyone’s talking about, but my reason for hats off to Cynthia is because she’s dating an education activist. No Brangelina multiplying of the millions here. She’s dating one of us common folk. Yep, Christine Marinoni woke up one morning, went to her $10,000/ year job, went out to a rally/ fundraiser/ sex club (I’m not sure of the details) and met Cynthia. How cool is that? I am, of course, banking here on the fact that my information is not out of date, because frankly if Cynthia has since moved on to Sarah Jessica, it would be really upsetting to me (and I guess kind of upsetting to Matthew Broderick).

Anyway, so in the spirit of things, I am officially putting myself out there to any celebrity who wants a grounded relationship with one of us commoners. Now, I realize that by pursuing someone who is already a celebrity, I’m going to be missing out on the ramen noodle eating/ no heat period of their life. That is quite unfortunate. Fortunately, I’ve already selected my sweet pad/ sweet ride combination, so I should be able to hit the ground running. Worse case scenario, I’m willing to accept anything ranging from a B-star actress to a porn star to an animal star (provided they have a leading role in a syndicated sitcom). I prefer girls but will accept boys provided they’re asexual or impotent. In preparation for our life together, I’ve already started bathing in Evian, eating only green m&ms, visiting local rehab centers, and beating up anyone with a camera. Tomorrow I’m going to go buy a $10,000 dog that will fit in my wallet and then adopt half a dozen kids from countries that I couldn’t find on a map (even if someone pointed them out to me).

Now that, my friend, spells glamorous…