So I’ve recently discovered a new form of procrastination: searching for sex toys on Amazon. I’m not actually interested in purchasing anything but I I love reading the reviews. For instance, a vibrating panties listing sported the following customer comment: “Vibrator is very large and VERY loud.” Next time you’re standing next to someone in line at the bank, that may not be their cell phone you hear vibrating away… Another interesting listing: “Tickle his Pickle: Your Hands on Guide to Penis Pleasing” where there are currently 15 used copies available (ewww). The reviews (as well as the images) associated with this book reaffirmed my lesbian status (and my aversion to pickles).

I was worried that the couple of hours spent perusing through the virtual sex aisles would result in my Amazon homepage looking like that of a 13 year old boy whose mother has found a way to block all of the good sites and who has resorted to scouring his limited online world to find any mention of sex or girl parts: “You looked at ‘Tickle his Pickle.’ You might also consider ‘Nasty Nasty Sex Book Full of Nasty Nasty Secrets.’” Fortunately, my Amazon homepage retained all of my previous searches and now offers me free shipping on Bugaboo baby strollers– which I consider to be their thoughtful way of warning me against carnate sin (or at least against cheap baby strollers).