Today on 6th Avenue, about 100 construction workers were picketing outside a job site. They had all the essentials- whistles, signs, and a large, inflatable rat. Now, I’m not sure exactly what the rat was supposed to signify. I guess they wanted to imply that whoever they were picketing had certain “rat like” qualities- not so much of the cheese nibbling variety, but more so of the sneaking around variety. I’m thinking, though, that if I were to purchase a large, inflatable object in order to picket outside of job sites, I’d get something a little more blatant- like a big pile of shit. You’re driving by, you hear the whistles, you wonder who’s picketing, and then, like a beacon of truth, you see it- the big, inflatable pile of shit. And, of course, right away, you realize that the construction workers are picketing because they’re sick of being treated like shit. Done. No questions asked. And even better, perhaps, the inflatable pile of shit could be filled with helium, so that it would float above the masses. Now, I don’t want to promise anything, but if I owned a building, and I saw a giant pile of shit floating towards me, well, my hand wouldn’t be able to sign those labor contracts fast enough. Now, the rat, well, he needs a little threatening/ explanatory sign or something…Or at the very least, he needs pants. I’m not so sure that this would help the situation, but nonetheless, it would be pretty damn cute…

Of course, the problem with having any inflatable object in your picket is that it takes like .3 seconds for someone to just ruin your day. All the owner/ manager has to do is run out with an ax or a knife or a pretty big needle, and that’s it- boom, no more rat. Then, what do you have- like 100 guys in hard hats and tank tops, standing there, blowing their whistles. And suddenly, I’m thinking- village people… And, well, frankly, the workers are gonna have a hell of a hard time lobbying their position, if their boss thinks they’re a bunch of pansies.

I guess at the end of the day, the workers deflate the giant rat. Personally, though, I’d love to take him home. I could leave him by the door to scare off burglars or even better, I could totally freak out my cat. Of course, a large pile of shit would also accomplish both of those tasks. But again, you really can’t dress a pile of shit in cute, little outfits. Or maybe, you could, but I’m not so sure which way to put its pants on. And damn, it would be embarrassing to put them on upside down…

So, long story short, I never found out why the construction workers were picketing. Probably for more benefits or something. Construction workers tend to be very optimistic people. This fact is blatantly apparent in that even the most sweat soaked, beer bellied of the construction industry will try and hit on some woman who looks like she just left her Vogue photo shoot. And even better- they’ll look genuinely disappointed when she turns them down! Now that, my friend, is optimism at its finest…